9 Questions You Can Ask Your Kids for a Better Dinner Table Conversation

Maybe it’s just me, but dinnertime can often feel like the best of times or the worst of times. 

If the food’s a hit, the dialogue might also be an easy hit as well. But if someone’s having a hard day or if the roasted potatoes are just a little too roasted, then we might have to work harder than usual to spark conversation. 

When this happens, my husband and I often start with a question. After all, kids want to be known and understood, not only by their peers but also by the trusted adults in their lives. 

If the dinner hour conversation is a little sparse in your house, see if one of these questions does the trick! 

1. Would you rather? “Would you rather?” questions can be as silly, as serious or as personal as you want them to be. Would you rather have a unicorn horn or a donkey tail? Would you rather be a soccer star or a musical prodigy? Would you rather eat pizza every day for a month or green beans for one whole day? Create a couple of “would you rather” scenarios, then dare your kids to come up with a couple of their own.
   
   
2. Highs and Lows. This question is simple: “What was your high today? What was your low today?” Our family goes around the table and invites each person to answer, sometimes even specifying a “high” both inside and outside of the classroom. Bonus: pass a pink Sweet’N Low packet from person-to-person, making their turn even more special.
   
   
3. Be a good friend. Certainly, one of the tenants of childhood is learning how to be a good friend. Asking “Who was a good friend to you today?” and “Who were you a good friend to today” (with the built-in caveat, “and why?”) introduces you to the names of their peers and provides you with an opportunity to praise attributes of compassion, kindness and respect.
   
   
4. What’s your funny? For those kids who come equipped with a plethora of funny bones in their growing bodies, letting their innate humor shine can be one of the most important things we do as parents. One doctor reminds parents and caregivers that school-aged children are “also developing more subtle understandings of humor, including the ability to use wit or sarcasm and to handle adverse situations using humor.” Consider asking, “What’s the best joke you heard today?” or “What’s the funniest thing you saw today?” Let their humor shine!
   
   
5. Name a color. We would be remiss not to guide you toward asking a question that helps kids express how they feel. Place a 64-box of Crayola Crayons down in the middle of the table (or simply pull up a “color wheel” on your phone). Invite each family member to explain why they feel that particular color on that day.
   
   
6. Holiday-of-the-Month Club. Have you ever noticed that there’s a holiday for most every day of the year? According to National Day Calendar, June 1st is National Olive Day, National Go Barefoot Day, and National Say Something Nice Day. Look up that day’s holiday(s), then create a question out of it: “What’s your favorite holiday of the ones on the list?” If it happens to be National Barefoot Day, ask, “What’s your favorite memory of going barefoot?” Bottom line: just have fun!
   
   
7. Spotlight’s On! While asking open-ended questions is important, it can be just as important to ask “Spotlight’s On!” questions. Set a timer for five minutes apiece, then fill that time with rapid-fire, closed-ended questions: “What’s your favorite color?” “Who’s your best friend?” “If you could eat the same thing for every meal, what would it be?” Whether silly or practical, focusing on one person’s answers can make all the difference.
   
   
8. Tell me more. This one is simple: whatever the topic, whatever the statement, whatever the answer, when someone finishes speaking, simply say, “Tell me more.” There’s almost always more to any given story, so do your loved ones a favor and invite them to tell you more!
   
   
9. What does the Internet say? When push comes to shove, consider heading to a website with already-prepared questions available for you. 151 Questions of the Day for Kids is one of our favorites, as is 250 Conversation-Starting Questions for Kids. Wherever you end up going, relish in the answers given!

For our family, once we grownups start asking questions, the kids often pick up where we left off, initiating questions of their own. I don’t doubt the children in our lives want to know us just as much as we want to know them. 

Might it be the same for you.